super cool awesome time

sup.

have you ever come across a video that you just can't stop watching or can't help but watch at least once a day just for the lolz?

well for me this is one of those videos.

BASK IN ITS AWESOMENESS.

hope you're all well

x

OCD

HEY THERE

i'm going to tell you guys about a little OCD i have that only sort of hit me a couple of days ago. i was about to make a phone call and i told my sister to leave the room. but then i noticed that i haven't had a shower or brushed my teeth so i felt a bit dirty. i told her not to worry about leaving because i wasn't going to call as i had bad breath and hadn't had a shower yet.

it then hit me.

i have to be clean/look good and have nice breath before i make a phone call. they can't see me or even smell my breath so it doesn't even matter but i go through all that trouble anyway because i get paranoid. when someone calls me and i'm not 'ready' for the call i freak out. even when i set up my webcam, i have to 'get myself ready' before i camchat with people. i'm not even joking.

no really though tell me your thoughts on this.

i have some others:

1.) when i fill a kettle, i have to turn it on.

2.) when i'm walking and i hit one of my feet on something, i hit my other foot on the floor so the pain between the two feet are even. i can't walk with one hurting foot they both either have to hurt or not hurt at all.

3.) when i'm in bed, i look at the ceiling and if i notice any cracks i get paranoid the ceiling will fall on me. i also have dreams that this massive robotic drill falls from the sky onto my roof, drills through the ceiling and falls on top of me, drilling through my flesh. not a fun dream. as soon as i wake up i twitch like crazy.

4.) before i sleep all the cupboards and drawers in my room have to be completely shut.

5.) i get paranoid about being watched a LOT and i have a fear of my thoughts being heard from across the room.

I AM COMPLETELY NORMAL THE REST OF YOU ARE WEIRD.

x

7 facts

tagged by moonie, she's pretty special ;)

list 7 things about yourself and then tag 7 other people who will then list 7 facts about themselves
and then tag another 7 people etc, easy :)

1.

i have an irrational fear of vomitting. whenever i vomit, i feel like i'm about to collapse and die. it's kind of a good fear, because it means i don't drink as much. as soon as i start feeling sick i freak out and stop drinking immediately. am i crazy? i think i might be crazy.

2.

humour is sexy to me. i'm drawn to funny people. i mean i can meet the hottest guy or girl ever but if i talk to them and they're a total buzzkill then bye to that.

3.

i haven't slept before midnight in years. i love it when i'm the only one awake, i get a weird sense of freedom.

4.

i'd like to say i'm complicated, but i'm not really. there isn't much to me. that doesn't make me stupid though.

5.

i procrastinate to the point that it scares me. i'm working on it though. kind of. i'll get to it when uni starts. hehhhh

6.

i'm still completely confused about what i want to do with my life in the future. even thinking about it freaks me out so i don't even bother LOL. but i will, it's something that i really, really need to do.

7.

i make sexual innuendo's out of everything. it's nothing to be proud of but it's hillarious.

i'd tag other people but i'm lazy.

(not really i just don't have any friends.)

hahaha. and you think i'm joking.

*looks down in shame*

hope you're all well.

carlmander xxxxx

LOL

i'm baaaaack

hi :)

yeah i know i haven't blogged in like foreverz. shit what was that i'm sorry. anyway, yeah no excuses here. i've been lazy. really, really lazy.

since it's the holidays i've been kind of feeling a bit, 'hey, i have absolutely nothing to do about 90% of the time' and it's hard to keep my mind.. you know, active and stop thinking about random and pointless things and all that kind of crap, so here i am! i feel that writing about stuff here would help out with that a bit. well i hope so anyway.

i remember last year i got pretty into my blogging and i look at it now... and i kind of feel a bit sad since i've slowly drifted away from this thing. shit man look how lifeless it is. alright enough complaining!

speaking of last year, i remember at the start of 2009 i made a blog on livejournal about 2008. since then i've made it private and i haven't looked at it for ages, but i stumbled upon it today and was pretty amazed about how much i have and haven't changed.

"2008 was a great year. could have been better though, which is my fault. "

"can't wait to see what 2009 brings. it'd have to be pretty freakin' amazing to top 2008."

i don't even remember writing this. i wrote it one year and one day ago. but shit man, i'll tell you something 2009 was the best year of my life. i haven't really thought about it, but tonight i sort of took the time to think about good old '09. so much has changed and i haven't even realised.

i won't go into much detail, but since starting uni as well as turning 18 so much has happened. the freedom is so, so good. i met people this year who have changed me. i've done some pretty questionable things, but i've grown up a lot.

reading my old blog, i remember i had resolutions for 2009 which absolutely failed. hahaha check it out:

- gain weight (get buff)

- actually study in uni

hillarious.

anyway, just secretly, i had a third resolution for 2009 which i'm happy to say i accomplished amazingly. it was to stop lying about my sexuality. pwhoa *intense*. but yeah nah it actually wasn't that hard. by not lying i don't mean telling everyone. i mean just not lying when being approached about it. cause my case is kind of complicated. but yeah now that that shit's all out and everything i've been shit so happy. i've opened up so much.

anyway, i'm gonna stop with all this sentimental 'oh look at me i've changed i'm such a better person' kind of stuff. hey did you guys check out the video i made for uni last year? i posted it a while ago without saying anything. anyway, the response on facebook has been amazing and i thank you all so much. i just might make another short film in the near future! (just for the lolz)

anyway, just a short update on how i've been over the past few months of not blogging. just so you know, i'm doing amazingly, and i hope all of you are well.

till next time,

cmndr.

shootyourmates

i'll just leave this here.

21 Days

lOl

oh gOd please stOp.

<3

"Everything is more complicated than you think. You only see a tenth of what is true. There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make; you can destroy your life every time you choose. But maybe you won't know for twenty years. And you'll never ever trace it to its source. And you only get one chance to play it out. Just try and figure out your own divorce. And they say there is no fate, but there is: it's what you create. Even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are here for a fraction of a fraction of a second. Most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born. But while alive, you wait in vain, wasting years, for a phone call or a letter or a look from someone or something to make it all right. And it never comes or it seems to but doesn't really. And so you spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope for something good to come along. Something to make you feel connected, to make you feel whole, to make you feel loved. And the truth is I'm so angry and the truth is I'm so fucking sad, and the truth is I've been so fucking hurt for so fucking long and for just as long have been pretending I'm OK, just to get along, just for, I don't know why, maybe because no one wants to hear about my misery, because they have their own, and their own is too overwhelming to allow them to listen to or care about mine. Well, fuck everybody. Amen."

789

DUH!

facebook raped my inbox

so the net screwed up yesterday (I'M LOOKING AT YOU, BIGPOND) and today it finally started working. i sign in and this comes up.

FUCKING THANKS, FACEBOOK.

-

if i don't go to soundwave next year,

someone's gonna get a hurt real bad.

stalkercheck?

second post for today. i am on fiyah!

has anyone tried that new facebook application stalkercheck? it measures the activity on your facebook profile and displays who it thinks might be stalking you. it's actually pretty cool! check out the people i got:

how accurate is it hey? amazing.

i gotta run.
X

so um.

hi everyone

you guys thought i was dead hey. it's been ages i know, shut up. lately i'm lazy and uninspired; whoever doesn't like it can suck my penis very, very hard.

anyway, i'll be blogging a bit more from now on, i need something to fill the time haha. quite a bit to talk about and poke fun at. i just finished pokemon platinum. how hot am i.

i shall end it there.
hope you're all well!
till next time
x

WOO

A TROPHY FOR BEING SO GOD DAMN INTERESTING.